Random Thoughts

It has been a while since we last blogged... so much of our life revolved around the potential adoption and the roller coaster of emotions. While we were disappointed, we have been handling the outcome much better than anticipated. We received a card from my aunt that will forever remain in my Bible as comfort and a huge reminder of hope. The front of it had this saying from S.D. Gordon, "More is being planned for you by God than had been prayed for by us." As Troy said, "That is spot on!" So we continue to pray and wait. We did give our portfolio to one of my clients who is looking at family profiles for her son due in May. Don't know if she will choose us, but the timing would be perfect if she did.

Our house church network is growing and it has been great to build new relationships with people. The week before Easter we had 19 people and it was cozy. We have a nice size house, but it starts to feel small once you get that many people in your living room. It is a great problem to have. Another church started on Thursday nights called the House of Hope. They are using Celebrate Recovery materials to work with their participants. God is truly at work in the network and city!

We are eagerly waiting for Spring! I am ready to get the garden started and flowers planted. I also love to sit on the deck and watch the birds!

We bought a new swivel rocker recliner today with a nice donation we received from a person who will enjoy it thoroughly! More seating for house church and necessary for baby! Best thing yet, it is being delivered on Tuesday!

The End

We are off the roller coaster ride of domestic adoption. Our birth mom chose to parent her child. While we worry about the choice she made and how it will effect her family, we know that God has better plans for us. We feel God's love and peace through this time. Thanks for all the prayers.

15 Months and Other Stuff

Today marks our 15 month of waiting in line for China. It is nice we are one month closer to our little one, but this is also an anxious time in our life as we are waiting to see if we get to parent another little one domestically. I just got off the phone with our SW and she said it does not look good for our birth mom to go through with the adoption. She is not thinking rationally and comes up with even a more irrational answer when you ask her a question. Only time will tell. There is another opportunity in the background that I am going to explore more, but need to wait and see what happens with our first BM.

Denial

Our BM did not show up for her Dr.'s appointment today in which they were going to induce her. I was on pins and needles waiting for a phone call...dropped my lesson plans off at school just in case... went to the prenatal clinic to make the time pass...called BM at 12 only to find she just woke up and missed her appointment. We continue to pray for her and the baby. She did mention she lost her mucus plug which is a good sign. I have never been a fan of induction, but we are ready for this baby to be born and this roller coaster ride to end. Hopefully she will deliver naturally in the next few days and God's will will be revealed.

Still Anxiously Waiting

We continue to wait each day for the call to go to the hospital. Each morning I find myself saying, "Please let this day be the day she delivers." My boss told me yesterday I am experiencing labor in a different form. Patience is not my best virtue, but God is truly testing me and making me WAIT! Domestic adoption, especially when you personally know the birth mom, is not for the light hearted. I don't know if I could go through this again.

I took our BM to pay bills on Wednesday after we got home from STL. She opened up in the car and mentioned she is so confused and depressed. We talked for probaby 2 hour and had a true heart to heart conversation. I won't go into the details, but we cried and prayed together. Please continue to pray for all of us. This is SOOOOOO hard!

Soon..

...the stork should be coming. I took our BM to the Dr. today and they are going to induce her next Monday if she has not delivered by then. She was up Sunday night with contractions and lightheaded and nauseous this morning. All good signs of impending delivery. I am hoping she delivers on Tuesday so we have something to distract us on Wednesday when we go to STL for fingerprinting. God only knows. Time will tell if she lets us parent her child. She didn't bring anything up today. Please keep us all in your prayers.

Waiting...

Our birthmom still has not given birth. She saw the Dr. on Monday and all is well. This is the longest pregnancy she has had so far. She even said she might make it to her due date which is Easter. We want the baby to be born when he is ready and of course healthy, but the wait is hard, especially the closer we get.

China related- We got our appointment to get fingerprinted in St. Louis next Wednesday at 8:00. A very formal document came into the mail saying we must be there at that time or else... This was very weird because last time we had a time frame to get our fingerprints done. I kind of hope our BM will have delivered by then and Wednesday is part of our 72 hour waiting period. We need SOMETHING to make the time pass. I miss STL and have a list of places to go and things to see that we can do while there. I cannot wait until we have our kiddos and can take them to the zoo, science center, city museum...STL has so many great FREE places that are incredible!

U2 3D

We went to the opening night of the U2 3D movie experience last night with friends from our house church since we are the Joshua Tree House Church Network! It was their "Vertigo" tour shot in South America and it was awesome in 3D! You get to see what it must be like on stage with the band and it beats any tickets I could ever afford.

I saw U2 when I was living in Estes Park, Co in 1992 at Mile High Stadium and it was the best concert ever! It was also the first time I got a parking ticket. Some friends and I went to Boulder before the concert to spend the day and for one of our friends to finalize his divorce..crazy! My 1988 Honda Civic got a parking ticket while parked in front of the court house waiting for our friend to get out of court.

Rollar Coaster Madness

This domestic adoption experience is a wild ride of ups and downs, but it looks like our ride might come to an end in the next couple of days/weeks. Praise God!

We got a call from our social worker who spoke with our potential birthmom. She feels like she is going to deliver any day now, so they drew up the "plans" to send to the hospital. The hospital SW is also aware of the protocol. Our BM now does not want to hold the baby and she wants him to stay in the nursery. She is open to us visiting and feeding the little guy.

Please keep us all in your prayers these next couple of days/weeks. We continue to pray for her and this little one. These are anxious times of mixed emotions! We truly appreciate all the prayers so far.

14 LID and Other Stuff

Monday marked our 14th month of waiting in line for China. It is hard to say how much longer we have, but I say hopefully less then 18 months because I don't want to renew another 171-H!

We got news from our SW that the mom of the 7 month old has decided to work towards getting her parental rights back. It feels good that we at least have some answer now.

We continue to wait on our other birthmom. I spent time with her on Thursday and Friday helping her with her taxes. She said the birthfather does not agree with her adoption plan, but will support her and sign the papers to give up his rights! This was incredible news! She continues to meet with our SW and even wanted to know what we might name the little guy. Now she is saying she doesn't want to hold the baby after he is born. The agency is writing this up to send to the hospital. Hopefully they will do it soon because she feels like she is going to go into labor any day! Lord willing, I hope we have this little guy in our arms soon. We continue to pray for this mom. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling at this time!

WAAAHHH!

I am pretty bummed right now. I wish I could have the optimism as my husband at this time, but things are not looking good for our potential adoptions. Our first birthmom does not want us in the room with her and the baby after delivery. Big red flag and change of heart after wanting us to be in the delivery room and be the first to hold the baby, including her desire not to hold the child! She has not called me for rides or anything in a week and a half now. Not like her.

The other potential mom has not picked up the family profiles from the Fed-Ex office! They have been sitting there for a week now. I am not too sure how to interpret this, but my first thought is she is not serious about making an adoption plan for her child anymore. She is to go to court on Tuesday, so maybe she is wanting to gain her son back.

Please keep us in your prayers. I feel hurt and taken advantage of. I feel like God is putting this bait out for us to see if we are really trusting Him, and then pulling it back in. I am not liking this and ready to be a mom!

The Wait Continues

Well, we are beginning to feel we won't know anything until early next week. We had a large snowfall and many businesses are closed or opening late. I am also beginning to wonder if the birthmom now wants to get her rights back after looking at the family profiles. I don't even know if I could pick a family for my child in a day or two. We continue to pray for our potential birthmoms during this time and pray for peace and patience for ourselves.

Waiting and Waiting and Waiting...

We are still waiting from our SW as to whether or not we have been picked by the birthmom of the 7 month old. I sent her an email on Tuesday and she told me the package of profiles she sent out last weekend got returned, so she Fed-Exed them again on Tuesday. She told us we should hear from her by Wednesday or Thursday. It is still mid-morning on Thursday, but we are waiting for that phone call. We have a little understanding of what it must be like to wait for that phone call on referral day! We have all sorts of questions if we are picked! When will we get to pick up this child, will he come with any pictures, clothes, favorite toys, lovies, etc.? We are expected to get 8-10 inches of snow tonight and Friday. Will this slow us down if we ARE picked by the birthmom? I am not good at WAITING!

The interning SW (we really like her) met with our other birthmom on Tuesday and she said things are really going to be up in the air until the 72 hours after delivery are up when/if the birthmom surrenders her parental rights. The BM is thinking logicaly, but is emotionally driven. Based on her track record, we are not getting our hopes up.

I am off to the post office this morning to mail the re-filing of our I-600A since our 171-H expires in April! Praise God for the waived re-filing fee. Our HS update fee was reasonable, so we are not out too much $.

Still Waiting

Still waiting from our SW as to whether we were picked or not for the 7 month old. I had my cell phone by me all day today and got excited and then disappointed every time it rang and wasn't our SW. This is giving me a good taste at what it must be like the closer you get to referral day and waiting to meet your child.

I also took our potential birthmom and her 2 kids to the Dr. today. It was very odd. We had her over for dinner last Wednesday night, per her request, to see the house, nursery, etc. She has not been the same since then. I don't know if the possible reality of it all is sinking in or what. She seemed very depressed, impatient with the kids and adoption talk did not come up at all. She is meeting with our SW on Tuesday and I am curious as to what she has to say.

The Big "IF"

Yesterday we received a call from our SW wanting to know if we would be interested in being considered for a 7 mo. old bi-racial boy whose mother is surrendering her rights. We said YES, so we are 1 of 3 families this mom is choosing from. We should know something early next week! Our heads are spinning because IF we are picked, we will have a child next week! IF our other birthmom goes through with her adoption, we could have ANOTHER child in 4-6 weeks! It is easier said then done to not try and think about the logistics involved! I keep reminding myself that GOD knows how he is going to build our family and we will get the child(ren) meant for us!

The Amazing Ultrasound

...said it is a boy! I went to the Dr. with our potential birthmom last Monday and got to be a part of the US. It was INCREDIBLE! I have looked at LOTS of US pictures in my line of work, but have never been a part of one. What an amazing piece of technology! Everything looked good and healthy...the chambers of the heart, 10 fingers and toes, brain, etc! I told the US tech. I wanted to see if I could determine the sex when she got to that area of the body. The penis was laying against the thigh and I told her, "That looks like a boy!" She said I was correct! Our BM asked if I wanted the pictures and I told her I will let her decide what she wants to do with them. For many BM, they like to keep US pictures because it is a piece of their child they have after signing over their rights. We continue to prayer for her, her kids, family and the baby!

13 Month LID Anniversary

Today marks our 13th month of waiting in line for our little one in China. Rumors are running wild for those with a 12/06 LID. I have heard we might have another 2-6 years! OUCH! I don't like to believe rumors, but the way things have been going lately...they are going down the drain!

I took our potential birth mom to the Dr. on Wednesday and she is 28-29 weeks along. They gave her an EDD of 3/23, but she delivered her previous 2 at 36 weeks so that takes us to the end of February. We go back to the Dr. again on Monday for an ultrasound which will give us a better idea of things. I heard the little one's heartbeat and it was strong. We continue to pray for the baby and mom during this time.

We are Done!

The nursery is painted and the crib and combo are assembled! The room still looks a little bare without pictures on the walls and all the little accessories to add, but it is cute! We love the green/black color combination and the black furniture is sharp! We were SOOOO impressed with the packaging. I was afraid to open the box and find the furniture all dented and scratched, but these pieces were bound in Styrofoam and a wooden frame. Nothing was going to hurt these babies!

Prayers please for our potential birth mom and her baby. I am taking her to the Dr. on Wednesday. I talked with her on Monday and she still wants to make an adoption plan for her child and she is meeting with our SW AGAIN on Thursday after our home study update.

The SLOW Boat

... to China is taking forever. Are they rowing in quicksand? Referrals came out on Wednesday and they only got to Dec. 19, 2005! That is only 5 days of referrals!

Troy and I feel so much better now that we are pursuing a domestic adoption due to the extreme wait. Our home study update was scheduled for today, but our SW had to cancel. She had a birth mom approach her who has not had prenatal care and thinks she is 6 months pregnant. Our SW was going to take her to the Dr. and show her our profile. We still don't know what will come with the other birth mom that asked us to adopt her baby. Her phone is out of order and nobody can get a hold of her. In the meantime, I started painting the nursery and will finish today! I am so excited that we choose the black crib and dresser! It will look sharp next to our green and still baby cute with our bedding and other decor!

Highlights of 2007!

We didn't do a Christmas letter this year since we thought we would be "green" and save a tree or 2, especially in the age of technology...so here we go! Note, this is not in any order.

* Troy was released in March from his duties as associate pastor and became a missionary pastor for the Joshua Tree House Church Network. This got him out in the community and at the YMCA as the associate sports director. He is still employed at St.Paul's with his paychecks from the Y going back to the church.
* A team of us met weekly at our place over lots of food from May-August to set the core values and put together our house church handbook.
* Our house church met for the first time in September and we continue to meet weekly at our place with lots of food, fun, prayer, praising Jesus and conversation!
*The Camry got replaced with a Matrix in June after a fender bender on our way to Chicago. It has been a fun car to drive!
* Troy's dad came down from Iowa for Easter and Fourth of July. They played lots of golf and did projects around the house.
* Amy's parents came out in October for a long weekend visit. We had fun playing games, shopping downtown Decatur and visiting the pumpkin patch.
* We celebrated our 6th anniversary at the end of June!
* Amy started a stamp club in September.
* We celebrated our 1 year log-in-date anniversary waiting in line for our little one in China. It is going to be a LONG wait, so...
* We decided to pursue a domestic adoption while waiting on China.
* We bought a crib, dresser, mattress and crib set for our nursery.
* Troy did the wedding ceremony for his cousin Shane and his wife, Kelli in November up in Iowa.
* Shane and Kelli visited the "Roenfanz Retreat Center" in July for a weekend of pre-marital counseling.
* We went to Texas in June for the first annual Lehman family gathering at the Casa Bonita resort! We had an incredible time relaxing on the terrace, hanging with family, games of wiffle ball,kayaking and yummy food.
* Troy's cousin Abby joined us in September while she did her internship at the YMCA.
* We went to Texas in December for a late Thanksgiving and early Christmas. It was great to see family that we haven't see in 2 years or more.
* Troy completed several triathlons this summer and Amy did her first aquabike!
* Jackson continues to bring us so much joy and laughs! He loves having all the visitors we get on a weekly basis!
* Amy is still working as the teen parent educator for BabyTALK and loves it! They added middle school girls to her mix and that is a whole other story, in a good and bad way!

I am sure we have left some incredible things out, but know we are blessed and grateful for all that God has given us! We are excited to see what 2008 brings...hopefully a larger family!