Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
By Vita Alligood
1. Don’t tell them to relax.
2. Don’t minimize the problem.
3. Don’t say there are worse things that could happen.
4. Don’t say they aren’t meant to be parents.
5. Don’t ask why they aren’t trying IVF.
6. Don’t play doctor.
7. Don’t be crude.
8. Don’t complain about your pregnancy.
9. Don’t treat them like they are ignorant.
10. Don’t gossip about your friend’s condition.
11. Don’t push adoption. (Just yet- my notes)
12. Let them know that you care.
13. Remember them on Mother’s Day.
14. Support their decision to stop treatments.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Today marks our 1 year anniversary of being "in line" for a little miracle from China! The time has gone quick, but not quick enough.
Troy and I have decided to try for a domestic adoption in addition to still waiting for a little one in China. With the wait for China getting longer, we are ready to be parents so we thought we might as well try.
With my line of work with teen moms and spending time in a prenatal clinic, we have been asked to adopt about 3 times, but the moms decided to parent. We have been asked again by one of the 3 moms and she met with our social worker yesterday. It does not look good for this mom to make an adoption plan for her baby, so we will be creating a portfolio for our home study agency. Miracles can still happen and this mom may decide for us to parent her chid. God knows how he is going to build our family and we continue to wait, but we are ready to get off the roller coaster ride.
It was 7 years ago yesterday that Troy proposed to me. In Biblical terms, Troy said the number 7 means completion. We found it ironic that a birth mom was meeting with our SW on this day. It continues to be our prayer we will be a family soon!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Helping Friends and Family Understand: ‘Tis A Gift To Be Wise
An invaluable holiday present is Patricia Irwin Johnston’s booklet, Understanding Infertility: Insights for Family and Friends. Share these suggestions:
1. Understand that an infertile person does not resolve intense feelings overnight.
2. Listen to what the couple has to share—their pain, frustration, and anger—and try to imagine what they are experiencing. Avoid advice.
3. Let the couple know that they are not alone—share your support.
4. Respect the couple’s need for privacy, but let them know you’re there when they might need you.
5. Be honest in telling of your own pregnancy. As painful as the news may be, it is usually better than keeping it a secret.
6. Be aware that emotions differ from person to person and from day to day. Understand that some people may need to isolate themselves occasionally.
7. Humor has its place in dealing with the struggle of infertility, but do not be the one to joke about it—leave that to the one experiencing it.
8. Do not imply that the couple’s inability to conceive must stem from inner doubts about having children or must mean that God has not found them suitable for parenthood.
9. Support the couple’s decisions regarding medical treatment or resolution as best you can, even if you do not agree.
10. Learn about infertility so that you can be an informed listener.